We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
