Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
