the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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