is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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