I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im part way to drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
