can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
