Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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