Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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