lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
