Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
