Where did you get a picture of my penis
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
