Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
