pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
