i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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