omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i now understand why vodka
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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