Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
