Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
