I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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