She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
