I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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