Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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