Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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