Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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