There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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