hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
