I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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