I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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