im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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