You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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