We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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