My nipple is on Facebook.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
