i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
