I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
