The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
