It's Friday. Sex?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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