I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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