i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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