I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
