i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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