I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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