K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
