This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
