I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
