i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
