i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
