Tell her she can't have a vagina
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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