Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Alive.
So much puke
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
