i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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