I puked a lego.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
