Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
