called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
