I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
