you win again, gameday.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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