I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just want to make out with him forever
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
