Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
