we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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