He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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